just plodding along

objective

i went to coles to buy coke (special was 3 x 15 packs for $27: not the best price but we're running low) and stirfry veggies. i ended up spending $60 on other groceries. nice one!

ding ding

home icecream is good. particularly the golden sun.

i have to exercise self control. it's hard.

not eating

oh my goodness me. today is not good. oscar has been a little off since his injections on friday. sunday was pretty hard as every feed was a struggle. yesterday was a bit better so i thought things were on the up. how wrong i was. today he's been quite unsettled and hasn't really eaten properly since 6:15am. the doctor said his bowels are sluggish, but that it should be better in 24-48 hours. since then he hasn't eaten properly. and he has been quite upset (understandable!). he also seems to be having a fair bit of gut pain. so i'm going crazy. i can't help him. and i'm sore from him not eating (breastfeeding mothers will understand that). and i'm not looking forward to a night of iffy sleep when i'm already exhausted.

i guess i didn't read the fine print when we signed up for this parenthood thing.

twice the congrats

welcome to lucas and sam who entered the world this afternoon. and congratulations to meeks (you're amazing!), dave and mitch.

way cute!

i'm having enough trouble with one of these. praying for you guys with two! enjoy all getting to know each other. i'm sure mitch will love being a big brother!

before and after

selfish

sometimes i have to work pretty hard to convince myself that i don't really hate my life.

degrees

ahhh the first cool day of autumn. the wind i could do without. my nose is all dry on the inside.

creative

someone's got too much time on their hands. but it's still cool.

from here.

age

i feel old and young at the same time.

27 is a big number. but i don't feel as old as what i think, in my head, 27 is. not that i feel young and sprightly now. but i feel the same age i've felt for probably at least five years. and in six months i'll be 28.

i guess it's only going to get worse. one day i'll be 30. then 40. then 50. and so on. i wonder if i'll ever feel like those ages when i get to them.

oscar turns four months tomorrow. now that's not very old at all.

mountaineering

today we went on a little mountain adventure. howie needed to do some work at the bevis', and rather than him spend a thousand years on trains, we thought we'd all go. plus we invited auntie debbie along for the ride.

so off we ventured. oscar fell asleep 10 minutes before we got to hazelbrook, and then woke up as soon as i turned the car off. so we dropped howie off and continued towards katoomba. very quickly it became very misty. oh dear.

so here we are at the three sisters. lovely day for it!

see we really were there

it started to rain so we headed back towards leura. as oscar had some morning tea, debs and i did too at one of the cafes. i had yummy apple and rhubarb crumble, and debs had a brownie.

after a quick detour to kmart for some new clothes for oscar (the one time i forget to pack extras, and he pees and spits up all over himself!), we headed back to pick up howie and get some lunch. classy breadrolls and cheese it was. after oscar had lunch, we then began the journey home.

we went off road to martin's lookout, so that we did actually see some of the mountains.

oscar had a great time on his first bushwalk

he was pretty tuckered out from all the fun and adventure, and had a bit of a nap on the way home (to add to his two other 10 minute car naps, and 40 minute one at the bevis' - hoorah for that one!)

thanks for coming auntie debbie!

f3

i'm quite glad at the moment that i don't drive to and from my workplace each day. i don't think i would have been getting home anytime soon.

it's always so crazy when something awful happens on the F3. i wonder if their fancy new traffic management plan is working. because walking to westie an hour or so ago there were a lot of cars everywhere. and all with their brake lights on.

i hope they're able to identify the driver soon so they can notify his/her family. how terrible.

back to barry

duckie needs a service. hmm.. i wonder when that's gonna happen.

time on my hands

up to season six of friends now. oh it's so good. especially enjoying the laugh out loud moments.

socialness

sometimes we get out and about and see people, and sometimes they come and see us. and sometimes we just sit around at home for days on end.

thursdays continue to be mothers group days. although we've all 'graduated' from the mothers group run by the child health centre (once our bubs hit 12 weeks) we've started to meet up again for coffee/cake/tea/whatever after a few weeks break. i'm not heaps loud or anything, in fact i don't say much at all, but it nice to get out and meet other mums and see other babies. especially as none of my friends have babies (yet). and it's fun to have people tell me how cute oscar is. hehe.

that's probably the only scheduled weekly thing we do, besides dinner at the parentals each thursday. although it is good to see friendlies at church when i go. and we're going to try visit my grandparents once a fortnight.

but school holidays are good ideas, because it meant debs came over and hung out for a few hours today. that was good fun. it was nice to catch up a bit, and for her to spend time with oscar and all his smiles.

sunday we may just have lunch with her and noob. because we like pie.

i'm looking forward to cathy and grant coming back from honeymooning. and maybe i'll be able to meet up with zoe again sometime soon. and i REALLY must call you tamara!!

spacing it out

i am a person with very little self control. we didn't have any easter eggs on easter sunday. we'd already eaten the ones we were given two thursdays before and on good friday. so yesterday howie enjoyed a little bit of egg purchasing with the post easter sales.

by 4pm today i had eaten all my eggs. it wasn't heaps of chocolate, but it wasn't a small amount either. i have a problem. i just can't help myself. i am my grandmother. and my mother. poop.

the story

I shared my birth story on a forum I'm part of. Thought I might also post it on here, since I haven't yet. It's pretty long, so feel free not to read it! You know the ending anyway!

Guido was due on the Wednesday. Well that passed without incident. From the Sunday morning I had some irregular contractions and my show. These contractions continued on and off for 28 hours, and then completely stopped mid Monday morning. I was so annoyed. But because of all the contracting, I had very little sleep.

At 2am on Tuesday things started up again. Contractions meant it hurt to lie down. I called the delivery suite at around 3:30am, and they said to see how I go, as the contractions were still 4-10 minutes apart.

I went into active labour at 7:40am on the 23rd, six days after my due date, with contractions three minutes apart. I rang the hospital again at about 8am, and they said to see how I go waiting until my Ob appointment with Dr Booker at 9:45am. So I stood around at home, with contractions spot on three minutes apart. At about 9:30am Tom drove me, Howie and my bags to my appointment and waited for us.

Dr Booker said I might as well get checked in as I was 2-3cms. So Tom left me my bags and I was admitted to hospital after my Ob appointment. Howie and I then went for a walk, but it started raining so we went back to the room. Time then becomes a bit of a blur.

We had a great midwife - Liz - she was so encouraging and helpful as I wanted to go as far as possible without medication. After who knows how long of standing, holding onto the bed frame, with Howie rubbing my back and I got into my swimmers and the shower for more of the same but with the water. Howie reckons I was in there for two hours. It felt like 15 minutes!

I got out of the shower so they could chart the baby's heartbeat for a bit. We were on to a different midwife by now. The contractions getting heaps stronger. My waters had broken in the shower apparently, because they went to check them to break them, but they were already gone! Soon I tried gas, at the recommendation of the midwife, but didn't like it. It was too heady for me. I think it was all just more of the same for a few hours.

I got to 5pm before deciding I couldn't take it anymore. So I had pethadine. It helped for a little while, took the edge off, but a couple of hours later I couldn't handle it anymore. I was just so tired and it hurt! I was taking the gas as well, and that didn't make me feel all that good either.

At 8pm, Dr Dunkin came and administered an epidural in between contractions. It took so much concentration not to move! I'm so glad I couldn't see anything. Howie said that it wasn't heaps pleasant to watch. They lay me on one side and then rolled me over to get it to take on the other side, but Guido's heart rate dropped heaps, so I was rolled back. That meant there was a section on my right side that wasn't as strongly anaesthetised (which I then had more pain with during recovery).

My midwife said about 10 minutes after the epidural that I was almost fully dilated (just an anterior lip). And she reckoned Guido would be born before her shift finished at 10:30pm. I think at about 9:30pm they wanted me to start pushing. Because I couldn't feel things as normal (because of the epi) they would feel the top of my belly for when the contraction started, and then I would have to push. It was hard work. I was pushing so hard that I felt ill at times. I had no idea if I was being effective or not, but Dr Booker was very encouraging.

A bit after that Howie started feeling woozy (for his account read this). He hadn't eaten all day, because of rubbing my back, and his blood sugar had plummeted. So he was on the couch with Dr Booker and two midwives feeding him juice and whatever else. Which was pretty funny, but also worrying. Fortunately with the epi I wasn't in pain!

After pushing for about an hour, with a new midwife having started her shift dammit, Dr Booker checked out what Guido was doing and s/he wasn't lining up properly to come out. So it was decision time - forceps or c-section. I was so exhausted, from the day, but also from so little sleep over the past three days, that I just couldn't imagine pushing enough for a successful forceps delivery.

So after Howie and I talked about it, we decided to go for the c-section.

It was all action stations from there as the theatre people had to be called in and things got ready. Howie was still not well, lying on the couch. I was ok, as epidurals are the awesomeist.

I got to theatre about 11:30pm, Howie was dressed in the gear, but had to stay lying on the floor with his feet on a chair! I was pretty nervous, as I don't do all that well in theatres, and talked and joked with Dr Dunkin as he anaethestised me more. Being silly helped calm my nerves. I tried to convince them to hurry up so that Guido wouldn't be born on Christmas Eve!! Anyway, the operation was strange. I didn't want to watch it, so I didn't, and it felt weird - lots of tugging and pulling but no pain. Dr Booker explained a bit of what he was doing, just so I was in the know. And at 12:07am on December 24th our Guido was brought into the world. Dr Booker asked me if I wanted to know what s/he was, I said "yes!" and he lifted him up over the curtain and I said "Howie you have a son!". Robert Oscar. He was 3.925kg, 52cm long and 36cm head circumference.

Howie got up to have a look at him as he was checked over. And was then told to lie down again straight after that. Then I got a little cuddle. And he was whisked away while I was stitched up. Howie had to wait for a wheel chair, and then was taken to be with our son (which I'm not heaps pleased about because I wanted Howie to be with bubba the whole time. But this new midwife was pretty pushy).

Then I was in recovery til about 1:30am. I felt pretty gross as I threw up (we all know how much I love that) and was exhausted. They took me back to the delivery suite (where I had to stay the night coz no beds in maternity ward) where my hubby and our son were waiting for me, and a lemonade icy pole. We had the first breastfeed and some time together.

Howie was then picked up at about 2:30am. He had also rung our parents and sent everyone an sms to let them know Oscar has arrived.

I don't remember anything real well after that, or much from during it all either really! I guess I tried to sleep! But there was a bit of pain so I was using my morphine button whenever I could. And also a nurse came in to take my obs every hour or two as well. So sleep wasn't all that good.

So yeh. My story is not how we wanted it to go. But in the end Oscar came, and he was healthy. You've just got to go with the flow!

taking a moment

i very much want for tomorrow to be significant. i want to take some space to thank God for what He did through His Son for me, and for everyone.

at the moment it's very easy for me to not set aside time to be with God. it's not ever been something easy for me to do - to have a regular and meaningful QT. and nowdays the cycle of my day doesn't afford me much space, although i have all the time in the world.

i need to make an effort. but it's hard when you are too tired and can't be bothered.

so God, i want to say i'm sorry. and i want to say thankyou. and i want to ask for strength and desire to make the effort.

bon voyage

my parents are on a plane on their way to china right now. they got the exit row seats. roomy.

have a good trip!! see you in a month.

cut and colour

i had a hair appointment today. it's hard to make appointments when you don't really know what the day will look like. fortunately oscar woke at 5:40am for a feed, which meant 12:30pm would be a winner of a time to have booked. phew!

i went with the intention of getting shorter hair and some colour.

i definitely got the colour, and i got the shorter. but not as short as i thought i'd go. but hey.

here are some dodgy imagetricks photos which don't really show you the colours. they're pretty much the same as i got a few years ago - blonde, red and purple. i'm not really that adventurous.

meanwhile i fretted that oscar might be a poo for howie. but he slept almost the whole time. i should go to the hairdresser more often!

hello danny!

last night we dogged top gear to watch the first episode of las vegas season four. oh it was so good to be back. the only problem was, albeit the resolution to last season's cliffhanger, it ended in a "to be continued..." itself. dammit! hopefully tomorrow there will be further resolution.

early risers

i hate mornings. for the simple fact that all the noise starts. and life becomes much more stressful again.

bittersweet

as exciting as it is that tomorrow could be 'las vegas day', it is indeed bittersweet. las vegas season four may be under the same roof as me sometime tomorrow, but because of conflicting day and night schedules, and our desire to view it together, howie and i might not be able to watch any of it until at least wednesday! possibly not even until friday. at least the easter long weekend gives us plenty of opportunity.

way overdue

i forgot to say, when i went to the doctor last week to get my whooping cough vaccine, that, because it was the first time i'd been there since finding out i was pregnant in april last year, my file said i was 55 weeks pregnant! ouch! my doctor and i had a good laugh about that. and were quick to correct the computer's records.

celebratory cake

the amazing valentina made oscar a cake. for what you may ask? his first 100 days. he could have released a report just like kevin rudd. but he hadn't made any promises in the womb that he would need to report on.

so he turned 100 yesterday.

in celebration, he got to hold a big knife

thanks valentina!

another wedding

growing up is a funny thing. in 2000 our youth group did a time capsule thing that won't be opened until 20th March 2020. we put all kinds of crap in there. i put in a guess at who would be married to who. even just nine years down the track it's funny how things have turned out.

today tim and elise were married. next to him as he stood up on the stage awaiting his bride were luke and matt. also both married. in the crowd were myself and debbie. also both married. cathy wasn't there, because she got married last weekend. add to the mix tim dab and kirri who are married, to each other. and libby who is getting married next month. sam - what the hell are you doing? (just jokes).

but nine years ago we sure wouldn't have guessed who would be with who. not within the five years. not up to now. most of us decided, after dating one or two people from our group of friends, that it was a better idea to look outside the circle. except for tim and kirri. and luke only got as far as a sister of someone else inside the circle.

that circle doesn't actually exist anymore. there are arcs. and it's good to move on. but it's a bit sad too. we were all such good buddies and spent so much time together. but life moves on. relationships start. and end. and start again elsewhere.

ah... growing up.

suggested techniques

when you have a baby people tell you all the things to do to help settle them or make them go to sleep. high on the list is going for a walk in the pram, or going for a drive. either rarely work for oscar - he loves to look around too much. usually he'll only fall asleep in his own bed, or occasionally in our arms when out.

anyway, we aren't in dire need of such methods anymore. he tends to be ok at going to sleep after a feed and a play. not so good at sleeping more than 40 minutes, but that's better than nothing.

however it does baffle me that oscar fell asleep today in the two minute trip from westfield to our house, but then tonight, when he'd been awake for three hours and crying for half an hour of that, he wouldn't fall asleep in a forty minute car trip in the dark.

babies should be consistent!

brave

i'm a big brave girl nowdays. yesterday i had to have a whooping cough vaccine. and although i didn't want to see it, i had little fear. needles don't seem to phase me anymore. that's exciting. i mean, i don't want to go and get them just for fun. but i'm ok with the idea of having vaccines, blood tests, and whatever as needed. as long as i don't have to watch.

but for sure, a tattoo is never going to happen.

all is well in the world

Las Vegas season four has FINALLY come out on DVD for region 4. I am so excited! And you can tell how badly I want it by the fact that I haven't waited for it to come on special, or even to check if it was available at JB. I went ahead and ordered it from chaos.com last night. So fingers crossed it arrives tomorrow, and the joy of being reunited with Danny (and the others) can begin!