just plodding along

about to leave the po for another year me thinks. it will be nice to be back home.

hoorah for steve's internet connection in the gumpy.

yay for phoebe.

lots of big things came out of this past week. pretty meaty stuff. some of it was a little of the frustrating. i'm not the most patient person. a little of it is quite the scary too. and some times i felt a little disconnected, but i guess on reflection it was a pretty significant week. goodo.

looking forward to the long weekend. oh yeh.

and tim. i like tim.

my first experience of blogging from the airport. or even of internet from the airport. hoorah.
i woke up at 4:32am today. that is crazy talk. but it's true. it's pretty easypeasy to get to the airport isn't it! my dad came with me, well i was on his train, until central. yay for a bag carrier!
anyways, just thought i should blog, coz that's a thing to do as you wait for a plane.

off to the po

i'll be back Thursday week! all the fun that is international conference. poatina here we come!

have a good eight days y'all.

so far this year i've seen seven movies. in both 2002 and 2003 i saw eleven movies each year. so only four more to go. eleven doesn't really sound very impressive does it. but for me that's over $150.

however, if you counted DVD's, the number of movies i've seen would skyrocket.

i must be growing up...

no longer am i terrified of:

-needles (not a fan, but had second Twinex vaccine today, i'm so brave!)
-tablets (been able to swallow them whole since year 12)
-flying (still afraid, but not terrified)
-McDonald's drive-thru

i'm no longer a little girl...

another fun birthday dinner with the mcinnes' last night. for brad's 28th. yay brad! but phoaw! that's pretty old!

we went out for Thai. was pretty funny little place. lots of nice tastes though. so full belly. good and funny convos during dinner, and then back to mcinnes' for the traditional trivial pursuit. dan, brad and mrs ripped it up against tim, mr and me. we were off to a good start, but ba baow. some very funny moments. then some nice hang time with timmy since heading off to poatina for a bit over week tomorrow.

although, bonus... my aunt has half offered to drive me to the airport - so maybe no 5:30am train. that would indeed warrant a gigantical hoorah!!!

hands up who's looking forward to a 5:31AM train to the airport on Wednesday...

cleaned gma and gpa's place this morning - for the last time. they move out this week. i feel a bit sad, coz it's been my grandparent's house all my life - so many memories of growing up and stuff. but it was my mum's house all her life, and my grandparent's house their whole married life. so i don't feel i have much right to be sad if they aren't. gma says she's just not thinking about it. and keeping busy so she doesn't get sad. it looks so different without everything in it. i guess it's heaps foreign to me - moving - because i've lived in the same house my whole life. i must admit, my eyes got a little teary about it when i was with gma this morning.

meanwhile, how fun is my grandpa! we were shaking out a blanket that hadn't been cleaned for 26-odd years, and it was dust heaven! we were covered in it. either it would have looked like the worst ever case of dandruff, or like we'd been in the snow. it was hilarious. i haven't laughed so hard for a while (i seem to always say that though). grandpa looked so funny. and i haven't heard gma laugh so hard i reckon in my whole life.

the air conditioner in the bottom corner of the window came about coz my mumma and aunt broke a window playing softball in the backyard about a billion years ago. they freaked out coz they thought my gpa would go mental about it. so they told gma and not gpa (don't you do that?! tell mum and get her to tell dad when you're not there anymore?! i do). when gpa did find out he just said, let's put in an airconditioner. my mum and aunt freaked out coz he didn't freak out!

can you spot the little piccies of me and debs, and other family members??

damn stupid comment spam... grrrrr

i really don't know why, but i really like this photo up matt's nose at scott & mime's wedding last year. it's not a quality photo - subject or image - but it makes me smile.

and off to church in a tick. youth service. maybe i should take my ear plugs - i'm such a grandma. i'm excited that tim's so excited about playing tonight. i hope it's a goody and that people worship God in real and profound ways. remembering that it's not about me or us, but about God alone. oh yeh!

as i sneezed just now, liquid of some description or another came from my mouth, nose and eyes. awesome. thank goodness for aloe vera tissues.

i think i just don't get america.

i like icecream. i'm glad that we had copenhagen today. it was a nice substitute for steve, brett, me, chris, sam, rob, stu, michelle, alan and donal. it's a shame the day didn't happen, but hopefully it'll come off in october instead. God is still good. and always sovereign. so really there's no need to be worried, disappointed or negative. of course there's ways to grow. and that will take us forward. and that's exciting.

man, how good is bed gonna be tonight!

worked another 50+ hour week. i hope that tomorrow comes off well. who knows at the moment - it's all very up in the air. but i think it's ready to happen. if not, there's a ready made trip for next time!

tonight i'm on games at GAP, and then bailing for bed. up at 5:30am tomorrow me thinks. so early bed time will be nice. provided my brain obliges and switches off!!

meanwhile, how fun is phoebe! i got to play with her a bit today. steve said it was ok that i was sick, coz she's already sick too. so we played on the computer and with a book and with food. she's most gorgeous. almost 1 year old!! crazy.

but sometimes the running away option is very very tempting.

i can't believe how special some people are to me. people i wouldn't have expected to value so much. i'm so thankful for them.

today has been interesting. good word that. bailed on phil this morning. he'll be right. got into work early and was rather productive for a few hours. drove tim's car and two 44-gallon drums to manly dam. john mayer was pumping. then tim's car wouldn't start. that wasn't very fun. so i had some God time while i waited for him and his dad to come save the day. they did. tim took me back to his house to collect my car. there's a big scratch on my car. not happy. then i wasn't able to concentrate heaps well at work for a bit. things were a bit stressful, up-in-the-air and stuff. but i got over that and went shopping. for the trip. i ran into neil and my mum. was good to chat to them a bit, and get some perspective. having shopped and got many of the things needed for saturday, i felt better. then visit to cafe. and home time, after only 9.5 hours work. tim coming over tonight. need to go to bunnings.

and that's my day. i'm quite the tired. but that's ok. God's bigger than that.

faretheewell chris

maybe it's like a new natural cycle... 12 hours at work, 12 hours not, 12 hours at work, 12 hours not....

i worked 11.5 hours today and then i went to the pub. i feel very masculine.

and we have snot...

so cute! we're using this little guy on the feedback form. if he was real, i'd want one.

sore, swollen throat. awesome. it's all about managing myself from here on in.

how on earth did this slip under the radar for so long!?!?

it's a beauty! tim and luke are very special and beautiful people. indeed, those were the days.

bunnings doesn't sell 44-gallon drums. that's a bum.

my nose is infected. poo.

it's not good when all your dreams are about the trip.

i know muzza already posted it, but i like libby and snowy too.

i want so much for young people i know and love to know and love Jesus. and it rips me apart that some are so close but not making those necessary steps or taking the big leap of faith. and it makes me want to cry.

it makes me want to cry that some of my closest friends that i love the most (if it's ok to say that there are friends i love the most) have turned their backs on Jesus. i feel my heart ache for them.

it excites my heart to think of those who have turned to God in the most full on ways in unexpected and unanticipated circumstances.

it saddens my heart to think of how dry i am sometimes in my journey with God. i want that vibrancy, freedom and joy that is infectious because it's Christ. but too often i allow life to drag me down. and that's poopy.

1 John 3:16-24

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.
Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.

i'm so thankful that Jesus laid down His life for me. and in response i want to be putting my life aside, all my craziness and selfishness and wants, and be loving others by putting them first. to love in action and in truth. to be obedient. and be used for His glory.

i don't believe in jinxes... but sometimes it's the best way to describe something that happens.

like i go and say that everything is coming together and stuff, and then a little bit of the bottom falls out. awesome. now my insides are all squirmy.

tonight is briefing. this week is trip-hive-of-activity-ness.

i like God. He does good stuff. He's always looking after us. He knows what we need, and when we need it. And He always comes through. and that's tops.

today was productive. tomorrow will be too. although i also have cafe. which is a different kind of productive. it's is a funny place.

and i have to go back to the office soon. i'm having a 40 minute "be at home" time.

i hope howie gets better soon.

sometimes i feel quite anti-social but i had a fun mega-tim weekend. i like spending time with tim. and we played frisbee! hoorah.

sometimes i get sucked in to thinking of a movie as "reality". not many do it to me, but when it happens it's a strange thing. i know it's not real, but it has an effect on me. i don't mean it necessarily in a negative way. it's just a little weird.

went to luke and ben's last night with tim for some DVD, junk food, darts and table tennis fun. twas enjoyable indeed. watched "the butterfly effect". not too shabby. it's kinda interesting and scary thinking about that kinda stuff - the "what ifs", chaos theory, time travel. i thought about things i'd like to change about the past, but then thought "nah". coz then i wouldn't be 'me' even amongst all the yukky stuff that's happened in the past. and i was reassured because God knows all the "what ifs" but He has the perfect plan, so really things pan out as He wills it. and that's good.

then sleep was nice. i wish weekends were longer. even if just three days. that would be nice.

this time next week, trip will be over. that's exciting. i love them. but i love them more the day after.

i hadn't even noticed that manly dam had a dam the other day. but it does. tim and i walked across it today. he took heaps of random photos. 66 in all. not just of the dam. from beacon hill too. but that's a lot of random photos. such a strange boy. but that's ok!

and i got to have yummo black bean beef with rice for lunch. it's so good. i don't eat much meat. but that dish is so tasty!

tonight shall be fun. hang out with timmy and luke. nice combo for the most part. hoorah.

it's a good point... there is a difference between living and existing. sometimes i feel like i'm too much on the existing side of things.

back2basics was pretty good last night. definitely loud (i sure am a grandma), but i lvoed worshipping God, and being challenged by a relatively simple but profound message. and i want to be taking steps closer to Him all the time. God's put things on my heart and i want to be faithful and obedient. i know Satan's there, waiting to trip me up, but God is bigger than that, and will carry me if i stumble.

it's a shame more of the young people weren't there. good on the likes of ben, joel, will, pete, ben and beth i say.

today tim and i go to manly. i think last time i went to manly i had a car accident. goodo.

tomorrow we get to go to st mary's. we're such jetsetters.

my watch says 6:41pm, my computer clock says 6:44pm, my parents clock says 6:43pm and my blog clock says...

i've worked 50 hours this week. that's not too bad.
i wonder what next week will be like.

well maybe it's time to go home now. i'm not quite sure why we're all still in the office.

but how fun is it playing whose line is it anyway in the office with the new collapsible marker thingys i bought for the trip (witches hats but not). steve is funny. so's howie. and josh. i just laugh.

comments say they are back. 290 of them at least. how exciting.

and with that. good night. i'm blogging waaaaaaay to much of recent. apologies.

everyone should have a timmis

ban the buggers is awesome. yay ryan. maybe you should password protect it.

if i had two lives, i reckon in my other one i'd want to be a meteorologist.

i almost printed 39 copies of a 40 page document today. i only wanted one copy of page 39. well i did hit print. then realised what i'd done. then i ran to the printer and opened the drawer which stopped the printing. i cancelled the job. but it still wanted to print. so i rang howie. he saved the day. i pulled the printer plug out. no power = forgotten job. hoorah. 39 x 40 is a lot of pages. almost 1600! whoops.

"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature... Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."

many a thing has gone to the dogs of recent

i'm sad that all my comments have gone. earlier today there were over 300. now there a none. i feel a little piece of my heart has broken. but what makes me feel weird is thinking about how i'd feel if something happened to my blog. i'm not dependent on it to survive. but i think i'd feel sad if it disappeared unexpectedly. for nostalgic sake.

how good is the yawn & stretch!

my sister is awesome. she brought me home three redskins as a present to cheer me up. i'm not sure why i needed cheering up, but if i did, it worked.

i find myself hitting myself in the forehead a lot more than i ever remember doing, or ever doing at all, recently.

i love when i forget i'm grown up, and call my dad "daddy"

i thought that since everyone else was blogging in the office in transition from cafe to the briefing, i might as well too.

i'm hungry. not really i don't think. but i'm hungry. that's what my head says. maybe i'm bored.

i love the IKEA catalogue

you know when you get up a little earlier than usual to make sure of a speedy start to the day, but it just so happens you pick the time everyone else in the household gets up as well, and wants a shower. dammit. i was too slow.

some people are just awesome. there's no two ways about it. and my world is a better place (for the most part) because of them.

and yay for chris, coz now instead of just having categories for my own viewing pleasure, i get to share them with the world.

entry 600

someone smashed one of our windows at work over the weekend. mr o'brien man fixed it this arvo, but it was a little strange. i didn't even notice it had happened. steve noticed a little salt container spilt on the floor with broken glass around it and asked if i'd been in the front office this morning. what a random thing to throw through someone's window!

productive days are awesome. got heaps of work done on the trip program. having jann in the office today was also heaps helpful, as she could make the phonecalls and photocopies i don't have the time to make. hoorah for jann.

tomorrow steve and i venture to manly dam. i hope it's a nice site. nice in terms of good value for the day.

i'm trying to trust God lots with this trip. it's all a bit potentially scary. but i'm excited for the young people and team who are gonna be there! And God will do big things, coz He always shows up for work!

these days have this uncanny ability to stress me out like nothing else on the face of the earth, besides flying. actually i might even put trip stress higher than flying stress. it's all about how i manage it. and often i struggle to manage that stress well. God give me your grace!

up the swans!! (that's a funny phrase)

what an awesome night. it rained, it poured. ben, pete and i had a ball. the others bailed for drier places. but we stood our ground. hoorah for ponchos. the lightning was awesome. and we won!!! hoorah! some very funny people go to AFL games. it's amazing how you bond with the people around you. it's funny how much beer people drink.

CARN THE SWANS!

it annoys me how some people just continually play games. mucking around with people's emotions, heads, or whatever. it's inappropriate, immature, unhelpful and uncalled for.

man, i need to improve my posture

meanwhile, how good is mary poppins. someone's watching it in our living room right now.

[i wonder how many posts i've started with the word "sometimes"]

sometimes i wonder where my head is at. i have too much of an independant attitude. independant in some senses and not in others. i live too independantly of God. in the past, i've been too dependant on the people around me. and yet, even as i acknowledge this, and know what i need to do to change, my pride and probably my laziness take hold, and i don't change. i don't do the good i ought to do. and that makes me angry at me. and go into the whole "i do not understand what i do... what i want to do i don't do, and what i don't want to do, that's what i do" thing. aaaargh.

lunchbreak!

howie's letting me put one up... he'll have more later.

i want to be serving Jesus and others, and if that happens to be in the context of a leader, then so be it. i want to desire the self discipline i need to be a great leader. i don't think of myself as a leader for the most part. but i think it's coz of my head's definition of a leader. i don't know what it is. but it doesn't define me. and i don't want to be a leader for the sake of being a leader.

meanwhile, lachie is one of the best people on the face of the earth. he makes me laugh. yay for lachie.

and bring on the sleep. i'm up at 6:30am for cleaning tomorrow. tomorrow is a long day. nonstop 6:30am-11:00pm. awesome.

sometimes i wonder what my life might have been like if my name was Kristin

i think i'm a bit too much of a control freak

tim's team lost their game. tamara, libby, me, luke and phil were there to cheer on. we cheered a little bit. boo was that tim was fouled out in overtime. that was a bit sucky. and they lost by three or four in the end. oh well. thems the breaks.

insomnia was a bit of fun. tamara, lib and me were on time. the others were late, so we only spent about 40mins with them, and left at about 8:30pm.

planning the GAP talk for this week is interesting.

James 4:13-17.
"Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."

the talk is called perspective. and i think i'm getting a little more which is good. it's always good planning a GAP talk, coz you learn so much yourself. works well that way.

i'm sure God didn't give zoe the flu so i could have some breathing space, but i'm thankful for it nonetheless.

7:30pm tonight a few of us will be heading to insomnia for some birthday dessert in celebration of laura's 18th. hoorah!

and maybe i'll be able to go to a bit of tim's basketball grandfinal afterwards. no promises tim. you'd better win if i do go, otherwise i'll feel like a jinx.