August 31, 2004
ok so i don't want to be whinging Israelite... but i really want to complain and self-pity it up!! i don't know why my head thinks that will be helpful, but it does.
i just feel very crazily busy. and i know that most people in this blog circle (which seems to ever expand) are insanely busy too. but i look at my week, and i have no spare time. at all. i don't have the time i need to do the things i need to do. and that is slowly, or quickly depending on my level of tiredness, driving me nuts. i want to trust God in all the madness, but i'm still here having to cope with everything that's going on. aaaargh.
nah, it's all good. i'm fine.
i like that as a mantra. i'm fine. good one howie.
i'd just like to acknowledge how good howie is in his webstats. he rips it up and puts me to shame.
and his blog is so good looking
August 30, 2004
August 29, 2004
i'm not quite sure how i'm feeling at the moment. church tonight was good. the worship was awesome... i love singing old school songs, and re-living significant moments that involved those songs... like tonight took me back to kyckstart, where i actually became a Jesus follower. so that was exciting! and made me heaps joyful. the sermon was on 'hope'. confident assurance rather than the "i wish" kind of hope. that was exciting thinking about what it will be like when Jesus returns. part of me was very excited, like a little kid on Christmas Eve, but another part was sad for the people i know that will find despair that day. i thought of the people i met in greece. i thought of the young people at work. i thought about what am i doing to make an eternal difference, and i found myself wondering what others in my church are doing to make an eternal difference.
anyway, i was then on supper with matt. not something i would have chosen to do on my first sunday back. but i think it was good for me. people who actually wanted to see me, they had to make an effort. so that was special. it was a bit hard though to convey my thoughts in words to "how was it?". i knew it would be hard. but it really was. and i felt a little discouraged that more questions were directed at the olympic games and did i see any events, than what God was doing over there. so that left me feeling a little empty. but it also made me a bit "homesick" for the community we had during the Pilgrimage - particularly of my festival group. i'm glad i had prepared myself for that though. the thought of international conference excites me coz i get to see all these people again (well lots of them).
it's hard not having anyone around who's been where i've been. but then i remind myself, well Jesus was there. and He has a much huger picture of what went on. and that's comforting and reassuring. so i have hope. because i know He's doing stuff, and how i feel at this moment doesn't really matter. coz God's bigger than that!
me & nat
i love this photo of my gorgeous cousin Natalie with me. our family is a funny thing. i would say we're all pretty close for an extended family, although it's only the usual two or three get-togethers a year. it's good having lots of weddings and 21st though at the moment, coz we all get to see each other lots. and what's more fun is that i found out while i was away that my cousin Melinda is pregnant! hoorah. that's very exciting, and a huge smile for our family.
it was interesting when away how, maybe coz of exhaustion, or outside normal networks, emotions felt a lot closer to the surface. i'm not normally a very cry-ey person, and i wasn't over in greece either, but i was on the verge a lot more than normal. i had a moment in the bus next to ben when a group of people a bit behind us we're talking about how they'd like to die. that struck a nerve with me, and i asked ben and kaia to ask them to stop talking about it - it was pretty insensitive to the people around them i thought ... particularly when someone mentioned falling. and i had a moment where i couldn't hold tears back anymore. and that sucked. ben asked if i was ok, and i was "fine". it's funny how when you're on the verge of crying, someone asking if you're ok makes things worse! but i composed myself and it was all ok. but i think normally that wouldn't have affected me. so it was interesting to reflect on that a bit.
went and saw "The Bourne Supremacy" last night with tim. not too shabby. quite like the first but with being a bit different. so it's a good thing i really liked the first one. i guess there's only so much you can do.
had a good sleep again last night. wodner what it's gonna be like over the next week or so, since i won't have the opportunity to sleep this much. hmmm... i'm sure it'll be all good.
going ok with being home. sometimes feeling a litle lost, and "so so" just because i don't want it to be same old. seen my self slip back in to familiar habits/roles/attitudes and not wanting to. need to be drawing closer and closer to God to be protected from that. but it's hard when everything is different, because i'm different while everything else seems the same. but so far, that whole phenomenon hasn't been to bad. it'll be interesting being back at church and stuff. i'm aware of people either bombarding me, or people not even talking to me because they think others are bombarding me. so it'll be interesting to see how that goes!
meanwhile, still have to finish unpacking. mum's given me til tonight to clean out the living room. oops!
August 28, 2004
oh yeh
fourteen hours sleep! oh how i love my own bed!
meanwhile it still feels strange putting toilet paper in the toilet... i'm sure it will feel normal again soon. jeepers.
August 27, 2004
howie, i'm pretty sure losing that much weight in the style you've done it isn't a good thing... have you gone to the doctor yet?
because i'm likely to forget...
happy 1st birthday to my blog for tomorrow... a whole year. amazementness.
home time
hello world. i'm back from the land of souvlaki and non-paper putting toilets. got in this morn at 6:20am-ish. nice to be home. and go "blah blah blah" and just tell lots of stories to my parents and debs. it was great to see them at the airport!
i'm a bit tired but determined to stay awake all day, so my body clock adjusts. not so sure how my eating habits will go. i've eaten 4 dinners and 3 breakfasts in the part 36 hours i reckon.
i wish i could tell lots of greece stories... but there's so many and it's so hard to pin down the words. so i shall say the following...
challenging, exhausting, worthwhile, amazing, beautiful, tiring, frustrating, different, crazy, fun, funny, friendships, hugs, smiles, laughter, inspiring, encouraging.
i think covers a lot of areas.
Isaiah 43:13
"From eternity to eternity I am God. No one can oppose what I do. No one can reverse my actions."
Hoorah and Amen to that! God has done amazing things these past weeks and months in Greece and all over the place. All glory and honour to Him!!
August 20, 2004
i miss reading blogs. so much happening in people's worlds that i know nothing about. and then it changed to God Feed from Blog Feed - what's with that? I have nothing against God! just wondering. Ryan?
i don't know about coming back to real life - Sydney and the such. it'll be a strange adjustment to make. Good. But i don't want to lose sight of God and what he's been doing here, and this experience. it's hard to describe.
off to a briefing meeting now. then shopping. oh yeh! then our last festival tonight. in the national gardens.
maroussi rocks. and i saw my romanian friends again. so exciting.
August 19, 2004
olympics!
we went to the men's beach volleyball today - the olympics in Athens!! it was crazy fun. we cheered much and were on the screen. all of us in our blue shirts. crazy australians!
tonight we returned to maroussi... it was tops. and perhaps again tomorrow night. the people are so friendly. my hands are so tired of balloon sculpting. but that's ok. the look on little kids faces, and old ladies and men too - it's priceless.
on saturday we're thinking of going to a greek island for the day - to chill and beach and shop i'm sure. it'll be tops.
today was so fun - such a variety of fun things... the van running out of petrol virtually outside a petrol station, costa bagging jenny heaps, the volleyball, the festival, all good things.
anyway, i'm off again. home in just over a week... yay.
August 16, 2004
hello again
God is sooooo good. i can't believe how well he's looking after me. praise HIM!!
and He's doing huge things here in Greece. What an amazing God we have.
Hoorah for Phoebe's cast off... that's great news Wade's. is she moving around heaps?
but i gotta go again. 15 mins isn't long for emails and blogging and the like.
howie's in Volos, which is ages away for the rest of this week. but how fun are greek sim cards!
ok bubye once again.
and Go AUSSIES in olympics. ripping it up i hear!
August 11, 2004
live from athens
i'm not dead. off to crete tomorrow. crazy! lots of skills to learn. go juggler and balloon sculpting jenny. oh yeh. missing home. but enough to keep me busy here. very warm and sweaty. but you get that. thailand and jordan rocked. so much to see and do. God's world is amazing. God is great. Amen!!
bubye!!!
August 05, 2004
farewell...
dear oh dear. i just wrote a farewell post, and closed the window thinking i'd saved it and i hadn't. nice one jenny.
so, once again. this is the last time i'll be posting from the land of Oz. in 30 minutes i'll be heading to the airport. in 5 hours i'll be in the air, and that will be "so long australia" for three weeks. i'll try blog. but no promises. i'm not as committed as howie. apologies. but we'll see how it goes. i'll miss many of you, and i'll try keep in contact one way or another. three weeks isn't that long. but it feels it!! bubye!
and hoorah for antenex.
August 04, 2004
had some fun this afternoon with zoe, junior and tamara. that was good. i like them three girls!! and what made it even more fun was that libby and i were wearing the same jumper. what's the chances!
deb and i are going to the movies tonight. gonna see "the whole ten yards" at macquarie. i like matthew perry. i don't care if there's no story line. as long as he runs into stuff it's all good!
then a nice peaceful sleep. then i'll be up and packing, and playing with timmy, and visiting the office, and eventually heading off to overseasland. scary. but ok. keep having butterfly moments. but God knows what's ahead. and i trust Him so it's ok. thank goodness for God and His love. and provision. and might. and faithfulness. and power. and grace.
i forgot to say... yesterday afternoon at work was awesome. i didn't go into it with the highest expectations of enjoying myself - not that it's about that at all, but that's a nice bonus. lots else going on. but God kicked me in the behind - as He is so good at doing. had some quality chats with particular young people, and had an awful lot of fun. awesome to see some "new", "old" and "old, but new to there" faces. i'm gonna miss the kiddies at work and GAP while i'm away. such quality young people.
August 03, 2004
i'm really not one for reflection or "journaling". i have a blog. i have my thoughts book. and that does me fine. i think that it'll be a struggle using a pilgrim's journal for athens. i dunno. it'll be interesting.
sometimes i don't think i cope all that well with change. i think i can be very protective of situations, relationships, people etc. and i'm sure it's not a helpful or good thing in most cases. but i think "this is the way things are done" or "this is how things are meant to be" and then get very set in that. not that it's rigid, but when a lot of things change at once, it's not very fun for me.
August 02, 2004
today was a long day 7:30am-10pm. tomorrow is a long day 9am-9pm. no use whinging about it. won't make either day any less long.
lots of issues cropping up with "stuff" at the moment. just inconsistencies in me and things i'm involved in. and strange occurences or situations or whatever.
how bizarre is the carlton draught 'canoe' advertisement. it does make me giggle though. just for it's randomness (sorry, it was just on telly, hence the comment).
i'm a little scared of going away. and going away with people i don't really know all that well. they're all lovely. but it's kinda scary coz they're not my friends or my family.
GOOD LUCK!
To all year 12-ers with their trials ... especially Libby and Tamara coz I know you'll be reading this sometime!! Hope it all goes well - and don't stress out! Life is bigger than the HSC. God is bigger than the HSC.
August 01, 2004
church was good tonight. i was feeling a little ill at the start, and my left leg was trembling a lot, which was strange. i also felt a little lightheaded, so blasting out the worship songs wasn't a go-er. but i enjoyed singing quietly to God. jenny dawson gave a short presentation of her time in uganda. it was very profound. i almost cried. neil's sermon challenged me. it brought up the same passage from youth training the other week - 1 thessalonians 2:1-12. but particularly verse 8...
"We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us."
i'm not someone to share much of my life with another person. i keep people at a 'safe' distance - safe enough that i won't be risking myself getting hurt too bad. people probably don't even realise that. i don't know if it surprises you. and i guess i need to be letting people in? to be sharing my life with others. and it's easy to say that, but i don't know if i'll get any closer to doing it. there are people who are dear to me, and have become dear to me, but i still don't let them too far in. it's much nicer to keep my internal world very much internal.
Gold!
"I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok." -Shaquille O'Neal
Oh dear - that's awesome. Reminds me of Wayne's World.
what i think i miss most when i go away is xander, my cat. now isn't that a little sad. but it's different, because with people, they know where i'm going, how long for and why. but xander, he knows none of this. i'm suddenly just gone. i wonder if he thinks it's his fault, if he's done something wrong, if i'm ever coming back, where his next meal's coming from. poor xander. i'm sure he'll be fine. he probably won't even notice. stupid cat. but he is quite the cute!
athens athens athens athens athens athens athens athens athens athens athens athens athens athens athens athens athens athens athens athens athens athens
only four sleeps to go!
maybe no play with sam after all. he's out looking for a new used car after the lancer got written-off by an ambulance... crazy! a non-emergency ambulance ran up the back of him at a set of lights, and pushed him into the car in front. poor sam. but hey, if we can't play today, there's always post-greece.
i went to church again this morning, except after church. stayed for about an hour. sold more choccies, and talked with more people about the trip. also got my photo taken for our missionary family photoboard. yukko! maybe it'll help people distinguish between debbie and me. you'd think that after being involved in the same church for 13 years, and having a family that's pretty involved in upfront ministry, that people would know the difference between my sister and me. it's not like we look anything the same or are involved in any of the same ministries. it's very strange.
i wish people were more like tamara, who went around for months calling us by our full names, but never putting it together that we were sisters. silly tamara :D