just plodding along

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

am i stupid for walking from the office to westpac, with ~$3000 cash in my backpack? the bank teller lady thought so. so did the wombat ladies. boy it was heavy though!

HIGH FIVE!

today

i don't want to write chunky but i fear i might...

so first off i had meeting with phil. we talked through a lot of issues to do with the person i'm finding difficult to take. it was good - talking through things like feeling threatened, issues of respect and power, about boundaries and other stuff like that. thought some options through, like praying more about it, actually sitting down and talking with the person and seeing a bit of their world, and growing in those kinda ways. and i got to put some of it into practise as well today. which is helpful. it's like there is light at the end of the tunnel.

to work - and plenty to do all day... on uluru, on trip, on newsletter, on officey, on cafe, on banking, on etc etc. so it was pretty much non-stop. but still lots of fun to be had by howie, myself and steve. no foodcourt - but i think i'd only go if howie was going, and he did visit today i believe, but it was fleeting. excitement was the Uluru story on the front of the Advocate. nice to be able to raise awareness of the youthwork!!

unexpectedly i ended up staying back a bit (only til 6pm) at work - spent a chunk of time at cafe, as we were down one staff member. had fun with a number of the young people. had the first ever decent chat with this guy who's been at the cafe lots, but has always given off the air of "i'm not wanting to talk to you". but we had a good chat about his exam results and what he was up to, all which he initiated. it was really good - bizarre, but good.

spent some time with beautiful but sleepy phoebe too. she's so gorgeous. i think i get to have lunch with her and bel on monday.

stupid corel on howie's computer was having spacks again today, so i had to re-do about 50% of the trip flyer, which was not fun. perhaps the bomb's corel needs to be reinstalled.

i think that howie and jo are really fun and i can't wait to hang out with them some more. oh so funny!

and tonight i shall spend a little time with tim (TWT as it's officially known - by myself and steve anyway!). be good to debrief today a bit... my head's still spinning a little.

and i want to say that i think howie and steve are the bomb. because i can't believe how much work and effort and time and energy they put into the youthwork we're involved in. much admiration. i think it's crazy - but a good crazy because they are desiring and acting in God's strength to see young people come into God's Kingdom! So grant them (and the rest of the team) success, Lord, during the pilgrimage in everything they do for Your glory!!

and i'll miss them both. lonely and sad office with no steve or howie. no no. it will be fine. they'll call ... hehe.

yep. chunky.

forgiveness

snow led us through a study on forgiveness tonight. it was sort of half about forgiveness and half about judgementalism. but i was trying to think of people i've had to forgive in the recent past. and in all seriousness, couldn't think of anyone. and that makes me go hmmmm... either i'm too laid back, or i'm not living in reality, or maybe it's ok not to be fighting with people. i mean it's good not to be, but not if you are and are then just blind to it. hmm... i think i need to be more thoughtful about things. or maybe i don't. i don't want to be a robot.

annoying

you know those people that just give you the irrites...
you know when you don't know how to spell irrites...

both = annoying

i don't want this person to annoy me. and i'm trying hard to overcome it. i prayed that God would help me to just love this person, to see their value and respect them. but still i find the things they keep doing so incredibly frustrating. raaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

ouchness

this morning was not fun. all was good and happy. 'cept for my unexplainable sore leg, but hey. then at about 9:30am i started getting stomach cramps. i thought "oh she'll be right". but by about 10:30 it was really not fun, and it got worse before it got better. so i paced around the office, doing bits of work in between pathetic groans and moans. but howie and i went to cafe to do fun cafe stuff (refill the deep fryer oil - yuk!) and then when back at the office i started feeling better. and now, i reckon i'm at about 95%. so it's a bit bizarro. not sure what the deal was. but my longstanding no vomit record stands. i haven't thrown up since i was in year 9. that's 9 years! boo yeh!

"coincidences"

don't you love it when God has things fall into place, and he's all tricky and stuff. it makes me smile and giggle - i'm not quite sure why. it's probably because it's nice to be reminded that, yes, He knows what He's doing, and silly me for not always remembering that.

last night it was tamara, sam and will's baptisms - AWESOME! plus it ended up being open baptism night - and judy, martin and mel took up that over. how exciting!! it was a shame that matt wasn't there, because he'd always said that at the next open baptism he'd be up there.

but anyway, david was preaching on Romans 6, and baptism, or at least next steps and doing business with God. And the first few minutes of the sermon talked about natural inclination to do evil. and my head said "hello God" because that has been in my face a bit recently. i think i have to process it more to understand why it's in my face. it's all well and good to go 'yep, sure have natural bias towards sin', but i'm sure more has to come out of it than that.
the service was tops last night. lots of people met with God and that is always exciting!

Just like Libby's Bedford

it's an awesome vehicle!

blasphemy

It's funny/strange thinking of how, with the human natural inclination or bias towards evil/sin/disobedience to God, people are very quick to use "Jesus" or "God" as they swear. I mean of course people do. I've always known that. But last night at the AFL the people behind us were pretty Jesus and God happy - in the derogatory way. And it got me thinking about how we as people have that inclination to do wrong, and how people don't go around saying "Buddha" or "Mohammed" when they stub their toe. And how that heaps represents the way people are - turning against God without even thinking about it. I don't know. It was interesting.

oh how i love libby

she is one of my most favourite people in the world to talk with ... so gentle, and interested, so funny and real. such a beautiful beautiful girl. Jesus radiates out of her. and i miss her so much. i'm glad that byron bay is such a challenge for her, but so rewarding. and i'm glad for what Jesus is teaching her, and they way His Spirit is healing her. awesome and amazing stories.

youth leadership training was pretty quality this morning. quite a good group, representing all the key youth areas. luke, pratty, stu (7UPs); lach, ez, ian, me (GAP316); deb, james (Chill); deb, lyndal, luke elk (RAGE); and phil of course. good discussions about biblical leadership. took a number of things out of it. was interesting going through some secualr definitions of leadership - the difference between being a 'good' leader and an 'effective' leader in some cases. and whether a leader is simply someone who is followed. things got a bit heated sometimes... but generally people listened to others and got to points of understanding. good to be thinking about the new term, and the young people, and how to be praying for them and for what will be taught at GAP (and the other groups). fun too was that i 'made' phil announce his and shaz's good news... then elk and james got fired up about who's birthday the baby would be born closest to etc etc. silly boys. but i place bets on james' birthday being closest!

hours

sometimes there don't seem to be enough hours in the day. don't? doesn't? yep.

today was busy in a strange way. lots of random things. like cleaning to deep fryer. shopping for receipt wallets, log books, lolly bananas and a mini dv tape. filling my car with stuff to dump for council clean up. counting lots of money and then banking it. see, doesn't sound like much. but it took up my whole entire day. and that is strange. i don't know if howie found it the same kinda thing - he was involved in all those things too.

trivial

out for dinner tonight with the mcinnes' followed by the traditional trivial pursuit challenge. four teams - the 'couples' plus dan and jo. dan and jo ripped it up - despite brad and michelle's early lead. so many laughs though - i was in tears! it's awesome having a good laugh every once in a while. dan is hilarious! and tim definitely had his moments. but i think mrs mcinnes took the cake with her torch (pointless me writing about it, coz unless you're one of us eight - you won't get it). like with dan, it's just that kind of funny that is sometimes pretty silly, but i can't help but laugh at. 'dad' humor tends to do that to me as well.

but now it's time for bed. i leave for cleaning at 6:30am. feeling the restart of the 6:25am awakening... much tiredness.

luke

"From 1985 thru to present day - the fascinating world of a young go-getter in a post modern world . . ."

friendships & relationships

as snow and i sipped our lemon, lime & bitters and nibbled on our herb bread tonight, we talked about many things.

one of these things was friendships. and about our circle of friends. well, we don't really have a circle of friends anymore. and we were thinking about how sad that is. our circle has disbanded and moved on to join other circles, or start their own. it wasn't a negative disbandment - it just happened because that's how life goes. it's nice to look back and see how much we all did together - especially when we were always at jeremy's house or up at the church. and we all keep on friendly terms - but there's no active pursuit of maintaining the friendships we had, in many cases.

we talked about how some people are lifelong friends and others aren't. how with some people, no matter how infrequently you may see them, you'll always have things to talk about together. but how with others, the less you see them, the less you have to talk about. and how that's a strange dynamic.

we talked of relationships - i often find myself ending up in conversations about marriage, especially with snow or phil. we talked about our married friends. we talked about our own marriage prospects - and both our needs to be patient with our partners as we wait for proposals. we talked about babies - particularly as one of snow's friends is unexpectedly pregnant.

it was good to catch up.

dead battery - or is it?

tim was about to leave my house just now, but no car starting for the trusty old vacationer. so a quick call to his dad, and jumper cables were on the way. what a wonderful invention. so either it's a case of dead battery, or perhaps something more sinister. who knows? i certainly don't coz i know not a thing about cars. sometimes i wish i did. how cool are chicks who know about cars - like engines and stuff. ah well. it's not something i'm ever planning to work at gaining knowledge about. just like it'd be cool to speak another language fluently. but i couldn't be bothered. perhaps i'm just too lazy.

only 10 mins away

minuses & pluses

mawwww. tim dabinett cancelled on me. well, maybe next tuesday perhaps. so more raincheck than cancel.

but friday night is getting closer and closer!!!

lunch

how good is a <$3 lunch - howie and i got chicken noodle cup-o-soup (no msg) and cute little bread rolls, as well as cheapo choc wedges. awesome. plus howie got a $2 buddy too. it's the day of bargains.

coffee

tomorrow afternoon will be exciting. i'm having coffee with tim dabinett and maybe sam too. i like tim dabinett. and if sam comes, that will be two lots of sam in a week. and that is fun. and if they are both there, it will be very humorous. even if it's just tim dabinett it will be much the humor as well. debbie was angry at tim dabinett because she thought he had called for her this afternoon, but in fact he was just talking to her until the time came to speak to me. kinda like those bad old days. poor debbie.

goodness

something i read the other day made me think. i can't remember what it was though (that's not so helpful) and I can't remember exactly what it said (also not helpful). i think that over the course of my life i've always thought of 'people' as being inherently good. that even if you are a horrible person, scratch the surface a bit, or a lot as may be the case, and there will be goodness. like remembering this person was a child, innocent and good. but the thing i read, and some things i remember from foundations, challenged all that. that perhaps people are inherently bad. that below the surface, evil is just sitting there waiting for an opportunity to pounce and wreak havoc. that we are evil since conception, even as we live as 'innocent' children. that even our good deeds are but filthy rags. and that kinda stuff stands in the face of everything i've always subconsciously thought. not that people are perfect, or that we will always do the good and right thing. but that we are capable of being inherently good. perhaps we aren't. and that's why we need Jesus. because he is ALL that is good and right and pure and perfect. maybe that's the trap satan sets - we tend to think we're good enough. i know sometimes i do. but being good, it just doesn't cut it. we don't measure up and never will. thank God for mercy and grace!

songwriters should only be allowed to write songs in nice easy keys, like C, or G, or F, or D, or maybe even E - and always major. except maybe D minor. but particularly worship songs. sometimes i think pianists and guitarists forget that flautists only have eight fingers to play with and need to breathe.

official cleaning-before-the-parents-get-home day

bring it on!

there comes a point where you have to put your neurosis behind you and move on with things

'Echoes' - Blind

This is the echo of my life
That I could turn my eyes from You
You are the light that guides my path
Choose I to stumble in the dark

This is the echo of my shame
Returning bouncing back to me
And when it seems I've thrown away
I'm hit again, yeah it hits again

And so from paradise You came
To what an awful place
Air stirred by angels in your wake
And here You took away my shame
You loved me as I am so I live again
Yeah I live again

things that make me go arrrrgh! today

*adsl not working... what's the point if it doesn't load pages!!

*tpg customer service people... imagine, if you will, a conversation similiar to this:
after 10mins of hold music.
"hello this is sanjay, how can i help you"
"oh yeh, hi, my customer name is 'blah blah' and i'm just wondering if you guys are having problems with your adsl service today"
silence for about 30 seconds (except for his breathing into the phone)
"ok can i get your username, and how can i help you"
"ah, yeh, the customer name is 'blah blah' and my internet's not working, and i'm just wondering if it's a problem at your end"
another 30 sec or so of breathy silence
"so it's 'blah blah', alright, how can i help you"
"yes, can you tell me if there's any reason for my internet not to be working!"
"what's the user name?"
"well the customer name is 'blah blah'"
"no, the user name"
"umm... it's 'rada-rada'"
"and what's the problem?"
"the internet won't connect"
"it seems to be working"
"ok, so maybe it's a problem at our end?"
"maybe, thankyou, goodbye"
and hang up...
goooooooood!!!!!!

*chucking out my toothbrush this morning, before brushing my teeth and before checking there's one in the basket to replace it

*debs not answering her mobile for hours, and then my battery dying once she finally called me back, and then her not answering her phone for three go's again

BUT hoorah for timmy for fixing internet...

just so the pic doesn't sit on blogfeed

who remembers....

ooh yeh!

it's funny how sometimes you just get drawn into discussions/conversations and you don't necessarily want to be in them, or have anything to contribute, but you're still there. sometimes i come out of those situations feeling a bit yik... especially if it's something i don't want to be involved in talking (or hearing as may be the case) about.

dinner tonight at mcinnes'. that'll be a nice change from eating plain cruskits for tea.

foodcourt is a funny experience sometimes. coz all these people that i know from words, but i don't really know them. or them me. and it's strange to then have to assimilate the 'word' person with the 'real' person, even though they're the same person. it's peculiar. but hoorah for ryan and david.

feeling a better today with things. maybe it's all a control issue or something. but i was quite distanced from the things that would potentially produce conflict within me today. so it was all good. it was a strange work day... very disjointed. howie and i travelled to 'campbell's cash & carry' where he turned a plastic shopping trolley into a precision driving trolley... then it felt like we went straight to foodcourt, although we didn't... then phoebe play time... then chocolate and festival gear unloading at the cafe. howie's so buff.

good on tim

he's a good boy. he cheered me up good - took a bit of effort and patience on his behalf, but he did it. hoorah! chats, cooking of dinnerage, walkies, internetness... tim's good value. two thumbs up!

and now tamara and ben have joined the deb & lyndal party - i thought it was james or luke elk. and ben's always talking about texas chainsaw massacre (always=twice ever). so funny. they're watching bad boys dvd. crazy. i don't know if i'll ever go to bed tonight.

what to write... i do want to write... but i'm not sure about what. at the moment, tim's watching the news as i blog. then i guess think about dinner. and shop and cook that. then the rest of my night will be pretty boring me thinks. really need to be finding stuff to do at home. although sleep would be really nice.

altho lyndal might be staying the night - i'm not sure. she's here with debs now, and talking about sleepoverness or something. they working on deb 21st stuff.

interesting thoughts floating around my head though. 'interesting'. i don't know. there's a lot of jumble that i just don't think about, and that i have to start filing a bit i think. it's all about organising and storage or something. nah, i don't know. silly things. plodding should be fun. not painful.

on another note: i am glad to note that howie will be going to the doctor on friday morning. howie, the slight wheezing wasn't a good thing this afternoon.

when will the age of the pimple draw to a close??

bloody soon i hope!

one of those days?

today has been really disjointed and strange. i think too that my brain is tired. lots of things went on today. and then at other times there was nothing happening. strange. i need to get my brain in gear, because work needs me to do that. it's not that i'm stressed. i'm anxious of the fact that i will get stressed. and being stressed sucks!

but not everything is work related anyway.

eucalyptus oil really smells, and it's a smell that doesn't dissipate. today has been the day of aromas - just ask howie.

but anyway, so maybe things at the moment can tend to be a bit blah. trudgy trudgy. which is contentable, but nothing spectacular. i guess things have been a bit quiet with God. and perhaps (probably) that's bringing me down a bit. just need to be kicking things into gear a bit better maybe.

i would love to get my hair cut. it's so long. and a bit ratty at the ends. i wouldn't go boy short again (so many people didn't like it - and told me! - i loved it, that is, my hair, not the people telling me they thought it looked bad). but maybe some sort of shorter. like around. or at least trim for rattyness removal. hmmm....

just thinking...

yeh, i don't know quite what i am thinking... but there's direction questions in my head. i was thinking this morning about my life and my ambitions, and about how despite living in the 'now', i want to be living in the future 'then'. and that, to me, this moment is about filling in time til i get to 'then'. and that makes me feel a little useless and unmotivated and unfocussed i guess. i mean, the stuff i'm involved in now with work and church stuff is all very purposeful and meaningful, even if to a few lives. but i'd cash it in in a second to be living 5-10 years from now. and i don't quite know what that says about me. hmmm... yeh. i don't know.

Cmon Luke!!!

Howie put it very succinctly... that's gotta count for something!!!

today

sooo... we didn't know what to do next. so we drove to windsor. had a look through st matthew's church of england cemetary - the oldest grave was 1810... for the dude who founded windsor, and his 'headstone' was a monument dedicated by lachlan macquarie. there you go - and had a bit of a walk through windsor, before taking a drive through the turf farming area, and heading home for dinner. then 'runaway jury' dvd at tim's. just mixing it up a bit. we did reject two other offers - a brooklyn picnic and a cinema night... but that's ok. it wasn't so much rejection, as preferences.
now it's time for sleep. i'm leaving for cleaning at 6:30am, then col's funeral at 10:30am, then work... and parentals leave for canberra for 6 days. it's all happening!

for the benefit of david

just coz it's a slow blog day...

last night, me and debs stayed at cath's for the night - dvds, pizza, girly chats, some tears, the usual. was good fun to spend a chunk of the day with cath and then nighttime too...

today, timmis and i were rather stuck as to what to do... i guess we still are. we went for a bit of a walk and got some lunch, and now this arvo, maybe dvd or movie, before dinner, and then????

luke said he's still waiting for the 50 signatures whether the blogs there waiting for him or not.... cmon people!!!

crazy!

could you imagine eight children under the age of five years!!! these poor, or is it blessed, but soon to be very very time challenged, people!!!

He is risen!

"He (Jesus) said to them (disciples), "Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds? Look at my hands and my feet. It is I myself! Touch me and see; a ghost does not have flesh and bones, as you see I have." Luke 24:38, 39

"Then Jesus told him (Thomas), "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." John 20:29-31

"Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Philippians 2:9-11

afl

how fun is a swans match with crazy people (read phil, james, scott, luke elk, brett and other randoms)... lots of fun seeing a really scrappy game, yelling our hearts out, and bagging phil & the cats. oh, they're such loud boys! no shame! but it's all in good fun. and hoorah coz swans won when they really didn't deserve to after such a poor effort.

adventures

today tim and i went a few different places... there was westfield to shop for his mum's birthday, and for lunch... then an unexpected detour to wombat to help out tom and howie... then back to westfield to eat said planned lunch (yes, mcp for tim).... then to berowra waters coz we'd never been there before... then no parking there so we turned around as easily as was possible there... so back to my house for some crossword action. ok, so they weren't really adventures, but we went places. we lead such exciting lives.

tropfest

last night tim and i, and brad, watched DVD of this years tropfest finalists. some were pretty good. some were a little tedious. the music on the DVD menu was fun... tim liked it.

ryan made luke a blog. i like the template. i don't know if luke will ever write in it. maybe i still need to get signatures. a sincere thankyou to all those who contributed. only problem being - how does he login movable type???

and today is the day of surprises - being that i don't yet know what i'm doing today. tonight is afl. swans vs geelong. i think phil and brett are going too. maybe brad. but me and debs and dads are. but for today - i'm not sure what it holds. i say up to tim.

petition

luke said if i can get 50 'signatures' he'll start a blog... i've got one so far (thankyou David)... so please comment away....
Please note: this is not a scheme to get gagillions of comments - it's a legitimate plea going towards the fulfilment needed in one boy's life.
or whatever. feel free to use fake names... just get to 50.

cmon luke... join the blogworld

unexpected excursion to hornsby. to lock up the cafe. coz howie no key. stu has it. then drop howie home. and then home in time before tim got here. phew.

maybe it's because I'm a girl - but why do men sometimes see the need for combovers and/or toupee's?? do they not draw more attention to the fact these men are folliclely challenged??

Luke 22:42-44

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

orange

it's the season of it

foodcourt day today - i haven't been for ages upon ages. there was howie, tom, david, me, debbie and tamara. i liked tom's shirt. i told him i did. howie likes it too. and poor debbie and tom. howie is silly.

oh dear. poor howie.

junior uggies

tonight we had dinner together, cooked by the wonderful snowy, and had sharing time - with "something that's special to me".
*libby brought her guitar and sang us a song that meant a lot to her from when she was living in geneva;
*tamara read out a verse from the Bible that God used in her life recently;
*i played CD of marcus hayden's Psalm 139;
*Sarah brought 'Charlie' her teddy from when she was born;
*Deb brought a Sarah graduation photos and a bracelet that had a significant story attached to it about a friend that came to Christ;
*Laura brought us all easter bunny meringues coz we're all special to her, and promised us a piano singalong;
*zoe told us a story about her lost 21st antique necklace.
then we sang some worship songs and ate some more food, and chatted. i love these beautiful girls so much, and they continue to inspire me and challenge me with where i am at with God.

that's me!

lots of sirens today... this morning, and this afternoon, and now. it's very strange.

Bertolt Brecht

"Those who take the meat from the table teach contentment.
Those for whom the taxes are destined demand sacrifice.
Those who eat their fill speak to the hungry of wonderful times to come.
Those who lead the country into the abyss call ruling too difficult for ordinary men."

not such a sunny topic

but my uncle col (neighbour) died last night. my mumma & sis are pretty upset. and it's terrible for aunty betty - as it would be for any woman to lose her husband. but after a lot of suffering and difficulty it is comforting to know he's in heaven, and no longer experiencing that pain.
death is a funny thing. not haha. strange. foreign to me. although my family has experienced it in very tragic ways. i'm not sure how i deal with death. i can see in debbie that she cries through it, and talks through it as she surrounds herself with people. i think i flat out just don't deal with it. push it aside into the 'too hard' pile. i don't get it, so i don't think about it. then again, it's weird. because what is there not to get. but i still don't get it. i feel harsh because i don't think i'm going to cry over uncle col's death. i feel for auntie betty. but sometimes i feel like i'm made of stone or something. hmmm... i don't know

love blue!

cute

these are some boys...

they're all very nice boys. upon ryan's suggestion, does this make my blog more interesting?

jero says my blog is boring.

order in the chaos

sometimes i love observing peoplekind. this afternoon, as i was driving home, the lights at two intersections - edgeworth david & pacific hwy, and pacific hwy & george st (right outside Westfield - i think those are the right street names) - were completely dead. there was no light. but still, despite the chaos that could come about, people (in vehicles and on foot) were very calmly and methodically moving through the lights in an orderly fashion. there was patience and graciousness. people were giving way, and people were given way to. it was good to see that not everyone is crazy with selfishness.
but then again, who knows, after i left the intersection, maybe it all came tumbling down.

i agree

"why is it that when you playfight/hit/poke/push/tickle/punch/kick somebody of your own gender, it's called bantering or mucking around or being stupid or having a laugh or bashing eachother up, and when it's somebody of the opposite gender, it's automatically called flirting? i'm 100% sure lots of people will disagree with me, but i think that concept is a bit silly." -Sal

busy to the busy house

the longest day in the world is drawing to a close.... indeed there was the 8am to the office, then 9am train to the city for the 11am festival followed by the 1pm return to hornsby, with the 2pm visit to coles for cafe shopping, then the 3-6pm cafe business time, then the 7-9pm trip meeting... that went a little longer than 9pm. so all in all a jam packed day. howie is tired. i can't wait to go to sleep. and tomorrow i have lots of work to do. and no howie entertainment in the office tomorrow. oh well. i'm sure i'll be more productive that way.

phone

speaking of mobile phones, last night i 'threw' my phone in frustration - although not so much threw as dropped onto my floor from about 30cms with the intention of a soft landing (on floorboards??). surprisingly, my phone switched itself off and wouldn't turn back on. i said a few things - 'whoops', 'come on', and something a little, but not too much, ruder (which tim thought i might have been saying to him, but i wasn't). after a little while it turned back on, and i apologised to it for my lack of self control and lack of respect for my own property.

if only there were more hours to sleep in...

swans

oh, and of course they won. they ripped it up! and it's all because Lachie wore the beanie!

Romans 3:21-25 (LB)

But now God has shown us a different way to heaven - not by "being good enough" and trying to keep his laws, but by a new way (thought now new, really, for the Scriptures told about it long ago). Now God says he will accept and acquit us - declare us "not guilty" - if we trust Jesus Christ to take away our sins. And we all can be saved in this same way, by coming to Christ, no matter who we are or what we have been like. Yes, all have sinned; all fall short of God's glorious ideal; yet now God declares us "not guilty" of offending him if we trust in Jesus Christ, who in his kindness freely takes away our sins. For God sent Christ Jesus to take the punishment for our sins and to end all God's anger against us. He used Christ's blood and our faith as the means of saving us from his wrath.

simple equation

rain + jeans = bad

why must jeans soak up the water from the wet ground! if only i was taller - or could be bothered taking my jeans up a bit... ah well. no sense complaining.

AFL

swans game in the rain - boo yeh, we're gonna lose! but maybe they'll win for my new AFL buddy Lachie! and hopefully we don't die driving into the city...

michael's on his way...

back to newcastle... i dropped him at hornsby station at about 2:30pm. was not necessarily good day for him with what may come with repairs and bills and inconvienence and stuff - but was a good opportunity to get to know more about another person - i don't really know michael all that much, and he got to hang with me and my family for a while...
so now, it's onto the plans for tonight's 21st. i don't really want to drive into north sydney on a saturday night, but sometimes you just have to do these things!

unexpectedness

after a phone call from steve, i went and picked up michael ireson from redgrave rd normanhurst where his cars broke down. and so now he's at my house making phone calls... he was on his way from newcastle to canberra for his bro tim's engagement party (everyone's getting engaged!). and his car died. funny that, since it made it from tassie to newcastle! so there you go... a patch of excitement for the day.

how fun is copying and pasting every blog entry from blog-city to footboot. stupid blog-city. ah well.

problem

there seems one person in the world that i have a problem with. there are many people that issues crop up with now and then - but nothing anywhere near serious (at least not in my mind). but there is this one person that i am trying to respect and give the time of day, and no matter how often i try, i always come crashing back down to the level of judging them. i don't even know quite why. but everything i see them do or say, it gets to me. and i get frustrated at myself, because i'm letting something, something that i don't even understand why it's happening, trap me in sin. maybe i think i'm better than this person? maybe i think that they're doing things the wrong way (not my way)? maybe they creep me out a bit? i don't know. but God, please take it away! help me to love this person, and respect them and what they have to offer through their life and in ministry.

I don't know why I'm posting this... but hey

1. First Name: Jennifer
2. Were you named after anyone? Not to my knowledge
3. Do you wish on stars? Sometimes, but not in seriousness, i just like saying the rhyme
4. Which finger is your favorite? It’s not a finger, it’s my left thumb – my ring thumb.
5. When did you last cry? Properly – I’m not sure. I think in the car with Erin earlier this year.
6. Do you like your handwriting? Sometimes yes, othertimes not so much.
7. What is your favorite lunch meat? I used to like chicken loaf but blerk! Was never a devon girl. I like tuna. That’s a meat.
8. Any bad habits? Plenty. Do you expect me to list them?! Too bad!
9. What's in your CD player right now? Nothing. I think the last thing was robbie Williams swing when youre winning.
10. Do you believe in soul mates? Not really.
11. Are you a daredevil? I don’t think so. Going upside down scares me, as does going straight down, as does heights. Yep, really not a daredevil
12. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Regrettably, a number of times. But not recently i think.
13. Do looks matter? In the scheme of things no. they shouldn’t, but so often I think they do.
14. Have you ever misused a word and it sounded absolutely stupid? Gorilla. Get my point?
15. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Nope.
16. Do fish have feelings? I’m sure if you poke one it’d feel it.
17. Are you trendy? In no sense of the word.
18. Hmmmmm
19. Where are your second homes? I like my home. I think somewhere where you're comfortable using the toilet you could classify as maybe almost a second home. there's not many of those places around for me.
20. Do you trust others easily? Probably with superficial stuff, but once you get deeper, I wouldn’t think easily would be the word. It has to be something that’s developed
21. What was your favorite toy as a child? I think I liked stuffed animals, car mats and ride-on cars/trikes.
22. What class in school do you think is totally useless? I know that Latin was. Certainly is a dead language
23. Do you have a journal? No – I have a thoughts book and a blog.
24. Do you use sarcasm a lot? I think it depends on who I am around – and if I can predict how they react or whether they appreciate sarcasm
25. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? No I haven’t. I don’t like crowds
26. What do you look for in a boy/girl? Friendship and fun.
27. What are your nicknames? Jentle, Itchy, JK, Jens, Quacker
28. Would you ever bungee jump? Remember that daredevil question – no.
29. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Genereally no. and then I wish I had when I have to put them back on. Everytime.
30. Do you think that you are strong? Physically, no. Mentally, sometimes. Emotionally, kinda. There’s layers.
31. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Chunky monkey
32. What's your favorite color(s)? blue.
33. What is your least favorite food? Ummm… a lot of meats
34. How many wisdom teeth do you have? NONE anymore.
35. Are you in love with anyone? Yeh. There’s this guy :-D
36. How many people have a crush on you right now? I’d be thinking zero
37. Who do you miss most right now? Ummm…. I have to think about it. There’s lots of people I miss. But I think Libby, coz she’s not just around the corner like so many people are.
38. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back? not really, altho feel free
39. What are you wearing? grey trackie dacks, pink jumper
40. What are you listening to right now? the washing machine refilling
-WHAT HAS BECOME OF 41??!?!?!
42. What was the last thing you ate? a packet of choc chip tiny teddies - never had them before. not bad.
43. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? purple
44. How is the weather right now? overcast
45. Who is the last person you talked to on the phone? Ummm… was at work yesterday – I think my mum actually!
46. First thing you notice about the opposite sex? Maybe eyes or hair.
-47....?-
48. How are you today? Not too bad – I think I’m getting over my cold. Not so snotty today – hoorah!
49. Favorite Drink? Vanilla donut king milkshake
50. Favorite alcoholic drink? Not heaps a fan, it’s been years since i had a nice alcoholic drink
51. Favorite sports? AFL, hockey, tennis
52. Hair color? brown
53. Eye color? Blue green
54. Do you wear contacts? No
-And now my sweet 55....-
56. What is your favorite month? I like April coz it gets cooler and crisper, but I like October coz of birthdays and approaching summer!
57. Favorite food? So many. Ummm.. green grapes
58. Last movies you watched? Ummm…. the memory’s not what it used to be… I think it might have been Lord of the Rings?? Or Pirates of the Caribbean – both on DVD. At the movies, ummmm… 21 grams??
59. Favorite day of the year? I don’t think I really have one.
60. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Depends. Usually I have been. But I think that’s a good thing
61. Scary movies or happy endings? Funny ones
62. Summer or winter? Autumn
63. Hugs or kisses? Of course it depends. Hugs are always good, generally
64. Relationships or one-night stands? Relationships
65. Do you want your friends to write back? not minding so much
66. Who is most likely to respond? No one
67. Who is least likely to respond? Theres lots I can think of that wont.
-someone stole 68, too-
69. What books are you reading? The Bible, The Spirit of the Disciplines, Screwtape Letters (stalled)
70. Favorite Song? Of the moment- maybe My Shadow and Me off Robbie Williams.
71. Favorite board game? Not Scrabble!! Cluedo.
72. What did you watch on TV last night? i didn't watch tv last night - oh i lie, i saw the end of big daddy
73. Favorite smells? ummm... nice coffee smells
74. What is your most embarrassing CD on the shelf? None of them embarrass me at the moment - Probably used to be Salt N Pepa – boo yeh!
75. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Why not!
76. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? My first conscious thoughts are about 5 mins into my walk, and I think “I’m cold”.
77. How valuable do you consider your time? Extremely valuable. Yet, I find myself completing this stupid thing!

BART!

it's very exciting - Bart's back!!! I'm sure he's changed and grown heaps from his around the world journeys over the past year/year and a half, but it's good to know the same old bart is there too! he almost crash tackled me and tim last night - i didn't know who it was, and then i saw it was bart, and was like YAY!! so he's back up to taree for a bit today or tomorrow, and then back in sydney to work - somewhere. he's not sure yet. although he's looking at an outdoorsey, crusader camps kinda job. it's good to have him back i think. he's good value.

self control

Sometimes i think (simply) that perhaps everything pretty much comes down to self control. Things that i don't like about me and my behaviour - it all comes down to me not being able, or maybe not willing, to control myself. And that kinda points to something out of whack in the me & God stuff, because self control is a part of the fruit of the Spirit. So it's kinda weird - it's not totally self control, because it's the Holy Spirit giving you the ability to control yourself. Hmmm... confusing. But that doesn't give me an excuse either to say, it's not up to me, it's up to Him. Coz that's not how things work. Sometimes I wish 'if only' because then it wouldn't be my responsibility to be self controlled, and i could blame someone else for when i fail to be controlling myself. Yes.

you know how when you're a little kid, couples who are older, and are good friends of your parents are known as 'aunt' and 'uncle' even though their just your neighbours or whatever...
anyway. my 'uncle' col, who lives across the street, was just taken back to hospital a few minutes ago by ambulance. he only got home yesterday afternoon after a week or so in hospital with respiratory and heart problems. 'auntie' betty is really upset. they both know that it's nearing the end. and that is upsetting. thankfully, they both know Jesus. but that wouldn't dull all the pain from losing the man you've spent 50 years or more of your life with. and mum's away at the moment, which is hard too. thankfully their niece is here today to look after auntie bet. it's just very sad to see the fragility, and the pain that people go through...

i've said it once and i'll say it again - stupid cat!

brief reflection...

i think i'm too adsl happy... i'm sure it'll gradually wear off a bit.
tonight is GAP316 meeting. should be good. we need to plan term 2. the topic is "sex, drugs and all that". these topics seem to come around so often. but really it's just once every year or two. it just seems the young people's interest is pricked a little more when there's topics like this... i'm not sure how we're going about it this time around. that's what tonight is for. hopefully God will bring us to a point where it will be everything He wants it to be... glorifying to Him!
after reading the chapter on "is poverty spiritual?" in dallas willard's 'the spirit of the disciplines', and chatting with phil about it, i'm finding my attitudes and views interesting on the matter. i still have some thought to put into it, but it's interesting seeing how ingrained some things are, whether because of my upbringing, or society, or just because. legalism seems to be a challenge in some ways. i guess too because of the place i find myself in with faith ministry, and the implications of that. it's all very interesting (good word that).

driving

sometimes i love driving, sometimes i hate it.
today i hated it. not the driving itself. but i wonder why some churches don't make it clear where to go, where to park, where the office is, where to leave packages. talk about stressful. you'd think churches would make it as easy as possible for someone to find churchy people and places. but no! surprisingly many of them make it very very difficult. and that's not at all fun. i have more of this fun tomorrow morning. i'm not looking forward to it.

biscuit break

haHA. howie didn't get me. i got through april fools day unfooled. mostly. tom almost got me with the council call (very good tom), but apart from that DONE and DONE! phew!
And Howie was dogged!!! awesome... he was going on and on about how everyone's too afraid to get him... HA!
a very amusing morning though.

april fool

i don't want to go to work today, at least not til 12noon. it's april fool's day and the thought of howie at work is giving me the heebie jeebies