Well, it's a bit rough to say bye to something that's still got plenty of daylight left in it... but it's the last chance I'll have today of blogging.
2003 was a big year in many ways. it's kinda sad to see it go. i want to reflect more on the year. all i can think of at the moment is i began fulltime work, phoebe wade came into the world, i got a car, and i started blogging. as good as all those things are (esp. phoebe!), there's gotta be deeper level stuff than that! so today shall contain reflection. it will also contain a beach, some fireworks, and fun with luke and tim (at least - hopefully some more too).
There's such potential in 2004: good and bad. some things are a little daunting (like work), some things are still a bit unknown but full of possibilities (like work & GAP 2004), some things are just beyond exciting (like work, GAP & weddings and camps). i always tend to look and see how friendships have changed. things become a lot different over the course of a year, in many cases. some in positive ways, and some in not so much. there are many people i miss. there are many people that i don't see anymore, but love so much (liberachi!). there are people i'm so thankful i know better. and there are people that sometimes i feel i could not ever do without.
God's taken me on quite a journey this year. i guess it's hard to look past the whole work thing - it's the biggest thing in the front of my mind which God has had His hand in. but in all ways - me and Snowy, me and Tim, Bible, me and phil and our books, worship, so many things that He's used. it's been a bit of an up and down year for me in how i feel connected to God. but i do want to keep striving to know Jesus Christ better, and to love and serve Him more and better. To be completely surrendered. those are big wants - but they are also huge needs. and i don't want that to be a new years resolution that gets kicked to the side after 3 days ("it's too hard" mentality) but something that is a life thing. it's not meant to be easy!
but i want to wish you all (whoever and whereever you may be) a wonderful New Year's celebration. Keep safe and well, and bring in 2004 with a bang!
and Happy Birthday Bart for January 1st!!!
why is it always the way that when you take a handful of grapes to eat, they're always all nice except the last one you pop in your mouth. well, maybe not always on either count... but it's happened more than once!
(i think that's where the apostrophe goes) it's exciting to have plans in motion - yay for luke. although most of everyone are away at beach mission or melbourne or up the coast or in Hong Kong (Tamara!) there's still some of us stragglers left behind. so we're going to make quite a night of it. although no real details yet - except do something somewhere (good!) and then crash at luke's place. it's exciting! i like luke dawson.
went to hillsong saturday church last night with tim, luke elk, shell and sandy. wasn't too bad. the speaker dude definitely spoke from the Bible - read almost the whole story of Isaac and Rebekah from Genesis, and a verse from proverbs. there were definitely things to think about from what he said - the difference between taking opportunities and opportunism, and looking to God's purposes vs your own self-interest. the worship wasn't bad - reuben led the way again. i just wish i knew the songs! makes it easier to worship God when you know the words and tune to sing them by. although, hillsong songs are pretty easy to pick up, so that wasn't such a big deal. me and luke got real excited with the last song (as everyone else was leaving!) because we both already knew it - YAY! So it wasn't as bad an experience as in the past - we had some good convos about it in the car on the way back to our church. sandy is a really friendly girl - i've known her since primary school where i was in her brother's year, but i haven't really ever spoken to her. and shell's lovely. i knew that. i don't know her heaps well either, except for that whole year we led youth group together. it's good to mix things up a bit - the things you do, and the people you see. good on ya luke for organising it!
i think it's good to know that we're all in the same boat. we might know different amounts of stuff, but we'll never know everything. tim and i had really good God chats last night. we were seeing where each other was at (how often used a phrase is that) and came up with some similar questions and ponderings. neither of us had all the answers, but it was good to air stuff and try help each other, and then pray about it together. and to know that there are plenty of things we're never gonna get. but that's ok, because in the scheme of things, we don't need to know anyway. talking about God is always refreshing - even when it points to something in me that isn't aligned with him. it's exciting to connect with people in a deeper way when so much of life is up on the surface, concerned with what other people think or will think, and not wanting to make them uncomfortable or awkward.
jeepers... long isn't it. but good none the less. i still think that Fellowship is my fave. hoorah for earlier session - no lining up! gotta love that. sleepy now. i think i may have a nap. and i found out yesterday my couch isn't the most comfortable place for that.
tickets bought - done and done. we wanted to give our full attention so tomorrow is the day 10:15am Hornsby - coz 9pm tonight, we'd both be too sleepy. bring it on!
done and done for another year. it's good to know we can celebrate (and should do) Jesus EVERYDAY! and not just at Christmas and Easter. I survived 3 family Christmas', including the first meeting of Tim's grandparents and great aunts (i already know his cousins, and met his aunt and uncle). and he survived another of my family's events! good on 'im.
"a merry christmas to all and to all a good night"
today's lunch is the first of three Christmas meals over the next 2 days. oh boy. bring on boxing day, and the traditional promises of exercise and lost weight!
it was quite a mixed bag today - cockroach bombs, vacuuming, letter writing, phoebe-holding (sooo cute!!), lizard catching (steve's job, not mine!), fridge sorting - lots of things to do. And now I have almost 3 weeks off. that is lovely. i hope it's a tonnes refreshing time. next year, i feel, is going to be HUGE! so it's good to have a break. although i'm taking a break in february too, spending a week in port macquarie which'll be nice. but i hope i don't just waste these holidays away - relaxation is good, but i want to see my friends!!! silly them all going to beach mission though - i just can't win.
freedom delivered my new couch today - apparently no problems with stairs and narrow passageways etc. perfect fit in my room. hoorah. so now i have somewhere to sit in my room, without having to climb a ladder.
how fun are crosswords - tim loves a crossword. and it's a fun thing to do together, especially on a sunday night to unwind after church. "greek letter". it's always in there!!!
it's interesting (good word that!) going to different churches. i guess i forget other churches will do things differently to Thornleigh. this morning kirri, deb, tim and me went to visit ez at her church. it was good to see her. it was funny us four sitting in the back row (at ez's request) and the pastor coming up to meet and greet us. he asked us where we were from etc. we said thornleigh baps. neither kirri or i wanted to say that we worked with erin, coz of the reputation our work has with this man. anyways. as an aside: i also realised the four of us all did work for the same organisation and that was weird. then during the service the four of us were welcomed and it was bizarre coz the pastor said something about hoping we had letters of permission from our thornleigh pastor for being at a different church. afterwards kirri and tim agreed that he asked for letters of permission because they wanted to make sure that we and our pastor all knew how dodgy their church was. so the long and short of it is that there wasn't much Bible in that place. which is a big shame. they seem to have the passion, but where was the Word?? the sermon went forever, and the last 2 minutes pulled out some Scripture. so that was 'interesting'. i want to be openminded when i visit other churches, but it's hard. perhaps i need more humility (perhaps!? ha!).
enjoyed my saturday yesterday - mixed it up quite a bit which was good. nice sleep in til 10am (i don't know what's happening to me!) after a late night of handball at youth group again, oh so much fun. i need to be a little less competitive though :) and exercise a little more integrity :)
so up Saturday morning just in time for a phone call from timothy. we went to hornsby to pick up some photos, get phone credit, and do some shopping. then back to his house for a swim (although it wasn't 39 degrees as expected so the water was pretty chilly) and some lunch.
then i went back to my house to hang out with my dad and watch 'shrek' which he'd bought on dvd.
sam came over at about 4pm and we watched the end of shrek with dad, and then enemy of the state. debbie came home soon after that, so we chatted to her a little about her day, and she was very sunburnt on her back.
mumma came home too, so me and sam talked with her as well about teaching and shopping and other things.
we finished our movie and then headed off to phil and shazz's at before 7pm. that was a lot of fun. lots of fun people to talk to and laugh with. sam and lachie are so funny together!
then home and bed. i good healthy day i think.
and the funny part was that me and sam were wearing opposites - me a light blue denim shirt and tan coloured tee, and him a light blue tshirt and tan coloured shorts. twas funny coz so unplanned. so deb wore tan coloured pants and a light blue shirt to match us :) when we went out. she got changed later to go to a party though. i think she was embarrassed a bit :)
this christmas is all a bit funny... everyone's coming from everywhere and everything keeps changing so i have no idea what's going on. i think my mum's side is coming over on christmas eve day. or maybe we're going to auntie sue's?? whatever. i know there will be church in the morning on christmas day. i think i might be going to tim's family's christmas, which is his mum's side. bizarre is that we've been together almost 2 years, and i've never met his extended family - yeh with ben and steve, but that's expected. brad's gonna bring michelle maybe so we can have a united front or something. good. not that i heaps know michelle but at least i know her a bit. so that's all a bit scary at the minute. and that's at bayview or something. then off to the oaks (camden) for a 5pm dinner with my dad's side. crazy. i like my relatives for the most part. but 5pm is a late late start for us. ah well. oh dear. what a boring post.
its funny how we all have different tastes in things - food, movies, ideas of fun, clothing, music, everything. it's funny how some people have all these different things aligning to be pretty close to one another and you get along heaps, and how other people that you get along with heaps, you have totally different tastes to. i wonder what makes us decide what we like and don't like.
i have the biggest knot ever in my back... owwy owwy. lib worked on it for ages last night, but to no avail. 'bible study' was good last night - end of year 'party'. we played 'articulate' (me and tamara ripped it up), ate pizza and chocolate, played 'thanks God' and watched 'the bachelorette: ryan & trista's wedding' but it went forever, so we got bored and went home at about 11pm. bible study has been so encouraging this year. especially with tamara and libby and their steadfastness. it's been awesome getting to know them more and more and being able to encourage them and be their friends. not just lib and tamara but all the girls. and it's been excellent having sara come along too. she's such a cutie. and laura's so cute, she gave me and snow pressies for Chrissy with the most lovely cards. so sweet. but it's exciting seeing these girls grow in their love for God and for people. the last almost 2 years has been really inspiring, and such a blessing and answer to prayer from God. i joined this group to building friendships with the girls through that for GAP, coz they were all scary and new and i didn't know them. And God has really honoured that. Hoorah!
is it bad to desire a nice suntan? i know it's bad for your skin, that there is the increased risk of cancer and that it makes you look older faster (in a negative wrinkly way), but it looks nice being a nice healthy brown. but i couldn't be bothered with fake tan. although in suntanning's favour, vitamin D is good for you (is it vitamin D with sunshine??, maybe E... hmmmm... too many letters). eh.
you know there are moments when you feel totally and completely in the loop - perhaps that teh loop almost revolves around you, and then there are moments, when you could not possibly just be out of the loop but be so far away that you can't even see the loop. sometimes it feels like that at the moment. working everyday really cuts down my chances of seeing my friends. coz spare time i have i like to see tim in. but then spare time that doesn't include him, i'm already busy with some commitment or another (so it's not really spare) or my friends are already busy too. and it kinda sucks. i love the idea of uni holidays. i like thinking of days gone by where uni holidays were the bomb. where those days were taken advantage of in the most productive of ways. all kinds of exciting adventures, with all kinds of exciting people. but alas. oh well, no use pining. it makes it more fun now when i do see my friends coz it's more spesh. yep. thats right.
just thought i'd convey my apologies to foodcourt people today for the rather abrupt exit of myself and tim. tim's funny. but i am aware that a number of you are bloggers, and perhaps pay me a visit once in a while, so please accept my apologies. our disappearence was no reflection of the calibre of the foodcourt attendees of this day. so howie, tom, david, ryan, chris (who i was never formally introduced to - how rude foodcourt hosts!) and julian, i am sorry. we do hope you enjoyed your lunch!
"Saddam Hussein captured last night in an underground hole" - channel nine newsreader
i have agreeance with howie... 'love actually' was pretty tops movie. me and bel went (for free - always a winner!) and it was pretty funny. so i also recommend. i think it was one of those movies i wouldn't have ended up going and seeing, just coz wouldn't seem like my speed. but it was good. was good to hang out with bel too. i like bel. she's beyond good value.
what a lovely weekend... and how good is sunburn (ba baow!) oh well. at least many of us are in the same boat - some more than others though (poor joel!!). but it was a tops weekend - very sleepy by the end. lots of biscuiting, wakeboarding, skiing, beaching, attempted sleeping, walking and awesome talks. geoff has had a pretty amazing life! by jingoes! and i'm hoping that it doesn't just go over all everyone's heads - but that they can see more of the potential in themselves to be living a life like that - full on for Jesus, and living for him, and helping others in hugely practical ways in the process... i shouldn't say 'they', i mean 'us'. dunno how everyone's gonna survive church tonight though - i reckon there will be some snoozes during the sermon. ah well :p
Off to THE CORE tonight - GAP316 camp 2003. Should be awesome. Lake Macquarie - beach, biscuiting, Geoff Wilkinson, time with people, should be tops. So, Howie, that's why no blogging this weekend... ok. So i can't get in trouble thankyou very much. have a nice weekend everyone!
how mad was 5am thunder storm! besides the whole waking me at 5am thing - love the sound of rain, and so very much thunder. big fan. in fact it's still going at 7am now.
spent a good while with my mate snowy last night. the girls all had a farewell party, so there wasn't any bible study. so just the two of us hung out instead - kinda like an extended zoe and jenny time. it was good to catch up after a few weeks. so much going on for the both of us, and it's great to be able to share in all that. i was reminded by debs the other day of 'famous five' adventures where she, me, snow, lib and sam would spend every weekend together, going on adventures. it's kinda like 'those were the days' - coz they really were. miss that kinda stuff a bit. everyone's growing up, and heading along their different paths, and it's a bit sad to see certain people less and less, even though i care for them so much. but that's how it goes!
my second entry into foodcourt visitor book. how exciting. there was howie, david, ryan, jo, and lesley. i had maccas cookies - i couldn't not write anything!! good bunch of peoples. i kinda knew everyone - whether by name or reputation or actually knowing them. so hoorah for foodcourt.
i also had mega the meeting with steve this arvo - talking about work stuff. pretty chunky with stuff to think about and do. helpful i think. so gives me stuff to do. coz sometimes it's a bit of a struggle to make work - unless you stab yourself and have to go to the medical centre to make yourself have something to do.
it's a special occasion that ever brings me to blog in the office... and today is another one of those few opportunities. So we were in the office being highly productive and howie was playing with a butter knife in his shoe and stuff... as you do. then lowandbehold, there's a snap and a yelp and quite a bit of blood. no, he didn't cut his foot off, he somehow snapped the knife in half and slashed his left palm pretty deeply. so into the kitchen for some cold water and an old tea towel applying pressure. we have such a top notch first aid kit in the office... ba baow. anyways, then off to medical centre in westfield - where you can read all the details i'm sure on howie's blog - to get 5 stitches, and not much anaesthetic it seems. but i bought him a coke buddy to cheer him up. then a visit to pete the pom for some key cuttage, and back again to the office, where there were some sympathetic and not-so-sympathetic Wombat ladies to comment on the injury (which was funny in itself). and that's why i'm blogging in the office.
yes yes so i might watch it occasionally. i hate how shows suck you in. but anyway. how much of a horrible person is jon! "people matter" but not according to him it seems... forget the inevitable television spin on things and the fact that he's playing the game to win... but he's just so aaaaa, grrrr...
the first taste of summer today. i have much like of the beach. tim and i went for adventures this arvo/tonight to long reef and dee why. some nice walks and eats and stuff. we sat and watched the waves pound the surfers and the rocks for a while. how cool is the power of waves. makes me think about how much more powerful God must be.
sometimes it feels like a rather blurry line between being someone's youth leaeder, or being someone's friend - not that they have to run independantly of each other, indeed they should be working together - but it's funny thinking about how some of our youth kids have become better friends to me that some of my friends. i guess coz i see these girls at least 3 times a week - which is much more than i see most of my friends. but i guess too it's a different level of friendship, coz there's always the awareness of me being their leader, and being 4 or 5 years older than them, compared to my peer friends, with whom i've shared a lot more experiences and stuff. but it's always good to mix it up - i think it'd be boring to just be friends with the same people forever and ever, and never meet anyone new. not that my friends are boring!
how good is it to catch up with friends you haven't seen for what seems ever! jem and i had lunch today for his birthday. we planned it last night at about midnight during a sea of texting. i miss jem. and it was so good to see him. i miss what we had in our friendship - squashed by work, other people's opinions, and lots of yukky circumstances. i hope this starts us being more regular catcherupperers. but i don't think he'll start coming back to church, which kinda sucks. sometimes Christians aren't all that nice. jem got a bit of the raw deal. but maybe he'll come back. i dunno, maybe it's not the place for him to be.
hooray for me... i slept in til 10:02AM!!! this morning! that's a miracle! normally getting to 9am is a challenge. i'm so excited. yay for sleep. how good is it!
my friend's mum is doing a PhD at Club Mac, something to do with psychology and rats and stuff, but she got a phone call yesterday afternoon to let her know that the roof had caved in at uni on her computer - so she's lost all of anything she had there on her computer. Logicality would say she has backups elsewhere, but how crazy is that! the roof caving in on your PhD work that you've been sweating over for years. it's nuts! poor jenny.
spent the day at AGHS for a science panel thing for year 9 girls. wasn't too bad - not nearly as scary as i thought it might be. but the 'entering a group for the first time' stuff with Foundations is sooo very true! it's almost funny how true things can be sometimes. like how social structures work, and being able to identify and critique that, but still being part of it, and playing by those rules. it's almost laughable. but it was fun to see kara at school and say hello :) and to spend the day with amy and rachael who i 'know' from primary school. they both said my mum is the best teacher. isn't that nice. good job mum. but now my brain hurts a bit from all the listening and thinking we had to do. some of the girls presentations were excellent - some not so much, but some were amazing. i never had to do that much work in year 9. poor kiddies. ah well. they don't know any better.
love the rain at the end of a hot summer's day... summer's back for 2003!! i like seeing all the little buzzy insects, mainly flies, trying to negotiate their way through the rain. i like the smell of rain. i'm not a huge fan of the mugginess, but it's nice to feel the cooler breeze that often comes with rain. i was glad to be home just in time to take the washing off the line! i was glad to not need use an umbrella getting out of the car, coz i always seem to end up much wetter when i try to do that. i like the occasional roll of thunder. i like rain running down a window, making it's own individual and unique path as it gathers momentum. i like the pitter patter (of rain, not of little feet, although i also like that sound).