but my uncle col (neighbour) died last night. my mumma & sis are pretty upset. and it's terrible for aunty betty - as it would be for any woman to lose her husband. but after a lot of suffering and difficulty it is comforting to know he's in heaven, and no longer experiencing that pain.
death is a funny thing. not haha. strange. foreign to me. although my family has experienced it in very tragic ways. i'm not sure how i deal with death. i can see in debbie that she cries through it, and talks through it as she surrounds herself with people. i think i flat out just don't deal with it. push it aside into the 'too hard' pile. i don't get it, so i don't think about it. then again, it's weird. because what is there not to get. but i still don't get it. i feel harsh because i don't think i'm going to cry over uncle col's death. i feel for auntie betty. but sometimes i feel like i'm made of stone or something. hmmm... i don't know